and this is how freedom looks like.

its been really long since i touched the computer.
yep. recently there's been an influx of changes in my life
i guess i see more of my flaws then i have ever seen. and noticed the world.
seen it clearer. take yesterday
i donn't know why. but its become a habit of mine to stare out the car window every morning. and play a song in my head.
if you notice the old man across the street and the boy sitting at the bus stop.
u would ponder bout their lifes.
what are they going to do.
if you look at the trees. wouldn't u wish u could be free. why are we estranged by the chains of society. are we living our lifes to please others. and starve our inner desires.we comply with the rules of the society. of the people around us. and often in the process of doing so. we lose ourselves. a little girl ten years before. has turned into someone else in a matter of ten years.
whats the big deal of being an outcast.
pleasing urself.
its weird how that little thing in you ticks away furiously. trying ever so hard to be part of the in crowd. its weird how we don't voice out our sufferings. and its weird how we don't scream from the pain. it is swallowed and kept inside like the pregnant enemy.
sitting and waiting steathily.
anyway. in school. it seems to me i have turned into someone so easily judgemental.
i don't participate much and try to keep neutral.
but of course i do have my own thoughts . which i prefer not to voice out. see. thats a valid example of me succumbing to the way i want people to view me.
i'm always cheery . why. its the same reason. one day i'll get sick and throw it all up.
i need to stay happy you know. its like. i don't know. anyway.
i've let someone down really badly and i've upset that certain person horribly.
i'm truly sorry and i hope u'll find it in ur heart to forgive me.


i guess thats all.. the intensive studying must begin soon for me. o well.
ta. till next time.
i miss tammy , my girls, you*, and my freedom!