screwed up shit

2011-10-13T13:24:00.001+08:00

i realised that happy people don't have friends.
sad people have friends.
this is because happy people have no problems and therefore have nothing to talk about with other people. leading to them being friendless which lead them to being sad people . Vicious cycle life is.

2011-10-05T15:41:00.001+08:00

is it so hard to know me. or is there nothing to know bout me .

2011-10-05T15:37:00.002+08:00

it's a wednesday afternoon. i have a ton of shit to do. a ton.
and i just feel so alone.
i try so hard. i really try so hard to be a friend but maybe i just don't know how to .
i just feel like breaking down.
i give up on everything. i'm tired. i want someone to care .
but expectations . they are the cause of disappointments.

2011-09-24T12:37:00.001+08:00

i'm in lecture. and strangely i have this sudden epiphany.that there is so much more to life than this.
i'm disillusioned with things, with this flimsy sense of reality i have been living in

2011-08-31T13:13:00.001+08:00

Isn’t it odd how much fatter a book gets when you’ve read it several times? As if something were left between the pages every time you read it. Feelings, thoughts, sounds, smells, and then, when you look at the book again many years later, you find yourself there, too, a slightly younger self, slightly different, as if the book had preserved you like a pressed flower, both strange and familiar.

-Cornelia Funke

2011-08-29T16:14:00.002+08:00

time flies by. but whenever i have time i stop by this space and time seems to stand still here.

oh well. sometimes i wonder why i'm studying for. i love new knowledge. but sometimes there's more to life than this, right? i mean study to get a job, get a job for money, money to survive, and then we just die. we disappear. so what's the point. very strange indeed. humans are strange.
ok maybe i'm strange

2011-08-26T01:33:00.002+08:00

no. i won't let this or anything bring me down. i am stronger than this. i am strong and with His strength i am stronger.
I will wake up 7 hours from now to a brand new day .

I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.

2011-08-18T12:44:00.001+08:00

Upset :(
Am i stupid?

2011-08-15T21:15:00.002+08:00

i have a list of things to do. Literally a list and all i can think of is how much i want a camera( canon powershot!), trucks of money, free time and cold beer. of course endless tv - masterchef , criminal minds and some desperate housewives. ok and of course a book- a nice one like Shantaram or smth.

WEEK 1.

2011-05-21T21:51:00.001+08:00

chloe parfum-original, kate spade handbag , watch of some sort , room makeover, lumix.canon camera

i'm starting the list :)

2011-05-17T13:19:00.001+08:00

Living in Taipei is dreadfully boring without your own transport. The good thing is that I have tmr packed with outings, thursday movie and friday i'll just bust my way outta here. hahah gosh.

I don't mind living my own life, but the sad part that it's still under control with all the responsibilites that i have. perhaps this is life. responsibilities.

2011-03-20T10:23:00.000+08:00

disappointed in family

2011-03-07T13:44:00.003+08:00

i'm supposed to be rushing out a paperthat is worth 25 percent of my grades. and here i am. the room is stifling and hot i can feel heat emitting out of my body. strangely i like this heat. this silence in my room. the lack of ventilation. me and the sound of the keys clicking away. i like being alone. but i'm afraid of being lonely.
am i this walking contradiction?

2011-03-07T13:43:00.001+08:00

can there by any two people who doesnt need to spend time with each other but still be happily in love?

let go

2011-02-11T22:45:00.002+08:00

i i realise i always come here to blog when im emo. maybe cause i don't have anyone to talk to.
i think im an enigma.
i don't really know myself sometimes or know what i want. i don't know who or what i am.
and that's sad.
i feel like crying right now. but the tears can't seem to fall. i feel that surge of tears coming out of me and reaching the brim of my eyes but it just won't flow out.
i'm feeling so much emotions now yet i can't seem to find a way to release them.
release,
perhaps that's the word that i've been looking for.
i need release from the betrayal from M. i think it's been 3 years. i can't get over her lies. her fake personality. i don't understgand why anyone else can't see it. maybe they do but choose to ignore it. that two faced bh. (ok bad word) but lies. lies and lies. i want to let that go

i need release from J. i need to let myself stop believing it was my fault. cause i know it wasn't. i didn't ruin it, i didn't cheat. yet i apologised at the end of it and he didn't. i need to let go. and i wish he would stop contacting me to help me let go of the anger. i want to let that go

i need release from myself. to know that it's ok to be alone. i need to get out of this complex complex that ive vreated for myself. i want to let go.

i'm 21.
Dear God. help me.
let go.

2011-01-22T15:12:00.003+08:00

i feel very lost. that isnt a good thing is it.
i can't sleep at nights, i constantly worry ; and worry about nothing, i'm so uptight it's not even funny , i try to do my work and study but i have no idea what's going on. my world is spiralling out of control- and i feel like i got nothing that i can possibly do to stop it.
i take solace by hiding, like an ostrich with it's head stuck underground. I run from people, no , nobody really knows me. that's scary isn't it? i think i've hidden and buried myself so deep that no one will ever know me for who i really am- and maybe i've even lost myself. I run from religion, but most importantly i run from God-even when i know i can't run. I believe but i don't know how to show that i believe. simply put.

I'm Lost.

2011-01-20T12:32:00.000+08:00

why is life so fragile? what are we truly living for if we have to die at the end of the day?

life and changes

2011-01-17T23:57:00.003+08:00

i promised to blog.ok sooo here's the news, both good news and bad in one, i'm going to taiwan! for almost 2 mths :( zzz omgg. hahah how am i gonna survive!! cause honestly i"m a real homebody. I love my house., i would give up a day out at orchard walking around for some time in front of the tv with my favourite channel on.
anyway it's 12 am. time to go and sleep. sigh.

2011-01-10T16:42:00.002+08:00

Had 5 scops of haagen daaz icecream for lunch with jo . :D really nice , great fun and company.
home now with a spliting headache with 2 hours left to have dinner and finish my TWC readings and CAT hw before tmr. still heading to hospital later with Z.
ok nightnight.. gonna nap. promise to update later.

2011

2011-01-08T02:25:00.001+08:00

New Year.
I have officially decided to start blogging again after forsaking this empty space for many years. ok not that many but many.
the year ahead is terrifying!
in other news, just applied for internship and gonna apply for summer exchange. i really hope and pray. pleaseeeeeeeee that everything falls into place. including the horrible rancid gpa. ok i better sleep. it's 230am. insomnia never fails every night. and the horrid pain i feel in my ear and throat is killing me. Goodnight. :)

2010-02-23T22:18:00.002+08:00

if you have the courage to say 'goodbye', life will reward you with a new 'hello'.

life gives you surprises.

2009-11-09T16:59:00.002+08:00

i think that you're a hypocrite. hahah
oh shit i'm using this blog space to rant.
i think i'm evil now.
i don't understand you and whatever you're doing.
dang i don't understand myself either . i don't understand , have i forgotten and forgiven.
you left me hanging without a reason even when i question you run away from giving me answers. i wish you would just tell me why. let me get over it. fully. i don't have any bad or good feelings towards you. nothing. i just want to know why.
i am so frustrated. why the panties are you like that. just face the music.
on the other hand. i should just leave this and move on.
it's just like breaking in and robbing a bakery and the baker gives you free bread. i just want to rob the bakery. aargh. murakami! ok i am talking nonsense. i'm close to not liking you permenantly. why do i always have smth to do with you. aargh jghlhgalgjuhga.

2009-09-28T09:27:00.000+08:00

i have to stop and really let go.

thanks for being a good friend :)

2009-05-19T14:53:00.002+08:00

Well everyone I know has got a reason , to say put the past away

I think humans have selective memory. We choose what we want to remember and what we want to forget, subconsciously or more often than not consciously.

i miss you . i miss you. i miss you.

2009-05-12T10:48:00.002+08:00

happiness
1.the quality or state of being happy.
2.good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.

i have to say amidst everything. i'm drowning in happiness. funny how just one text msg can make a bad day become so wonderful.

2009-04-27T13:56:00.000+08:00

I think I’m evil. No, seriously. I feel like smacking myself a lot these days. It’s kind of getting on my nerves. Seriously. I don’t wanna be evil! Sobs.

On a lighter note, I want to go shopping! I also want to do a lot of thing but I’m too lazy to do/start. Shucks

I just re read everything I typed. And I don’t think I like myself very much.
Hahah. Not now at least. Maybe I’ll like myself more later.

2009-04-23T10:45:00.002+08:00

I read this on wikiHow during work. made me laugh so hard.

How to Remove Pimples Using Floss and Mouthwash ( like what?!)

Removing pimples can be a huge pain (definitely)and special cleansers and solutions can be expensive to buy. However, there is an easy way to remove problematic pimples using two commonly found bathroom items, dental floss and mouthwash.(funny shit)

Steps
Locate the pimple you wish to remove, preferably one in an easy to reach spot like your face.

Cut off a fair length of dental floss or dental tape; 20-30 cms should be sufficient.

Wrap the floss around your two index fingers as though you are about to floss your teeth. Make sure the floss in the middle is tight.
Place the floss right next to pimple and in a scraping motion, draw the floss along the surface of the skin and through the pimple. The pimple should be removed (If not continue to perform this step).

Draw the floss through the pimple again to remove any residue.

Discard the floss in a rubbish bin (You can reuse it again for another pimple, but it is advisable to only use this technique for only one to avoid infection).

Wash the area of the pimple with warm water and wash your hands with soap.

Open your bottle of mouthwash and dab some onto your fingers by placing a finger or thumb on the bottle and inverting vertically so that the mouthwash makes contact with your skin.

Place this finger with the mouthwash on the pimple. This will stop any bleeding and disinfect the area. Mouthwash has a lower alcohol level than rubbing alcohols so will not irritate, but will have roughly the same effect.

Recap the mouthwash and leave the pimple to rest. You may wish to wash the area later with a cleanser, but by and large, the pimple will be removed with minimal swelling or redness.

Tips
The best places to perform this are on your forehead, but painful areas such as your lips or temples will be fine as well.
Follow all usual hygienic steps after removing the pimple.
This method may not work for acne.
Flatter pimples, or ones which have not yet broken through the skin properly, may require extra attention to remove and may hurt - it is best to wait for them to develop more before removal to minimize pain.

Warnings
Do not use dental floss which you've used to floss your teeth! (hahahah)This can cause infection of the pimple due to the bacteria in your mouth.
Remember to wash your hands after removing the pimple - you don't want any part of it being put in your mouth wash!

Things You'll Need
Dental floss or dental tape (Tape may work better due to its waxed finish).
Mouthwash (Any type will do)

that was entertaining ;)

2009-04-20T12:34:00.001+08:00

Monday heartbreak. I give up. :( I hate this constant antagonistic thing. Kill me someone.

2009-04-15T11:45:00.000+08:00

and i learnt that it's love not time , that heals all wounds.

2009-03-30T12:01:00.001+08:00

Recently I’ve hit a bad spat, where you find it really difficult to pull yourself up. The funny part is there wasn’t any trigger or significant event that caused it.

Life has been rather busy recently. On Saturday I ventured to the zoo with garene and Thomas. And I actually enjoyed myself, following that was dinner at an Indian restaurant which was quite yum yum too.
Sunday was tuition, badminton and soldiership class. and right now I’m supposed to be working but I’m at rock bottom and nothing seems productive. It’s funny how lost and empty I feel when looking at my circumstances I know I’m one of the most blessed people in the world. I wish this sinking feeling would go away. And it’s not pms cause it’s really not my time of the mth yet. Which makes me more dreary because I don’ know the reason why I’m feeling this way.

I am very sdfhslefhuga. I need a hug, some flowers and ice cream. Which I will go get for myself before going home later. Pronto.

2009-03-13T11:52:00.002+08:00

if u didn't know. i'm mad about you

blessed. the A levels results were more of a relief than anything else.done with that i have so many things to handle. 14april,work,going out,admission,collecting debts, shopping and other things that i bring upon myself. ga.

2009-02-24T10:28:00.002+08:00

All men are equal, but some are more equal than others.

if it ain't gonna be fair , i'll make it fair myself.

2009-02-02T11:45:00.002+08:00

omg. i want to complain. i thought i was weird la. but seriously. OHMYTIANZXZXZ. this world or rather singapore in general is full of weird people. faints.

2009-01-22T14:00:00.001+08:00

Sometimes i feel alone when it's so crowded.

2009-01-13T14:45:00.002+08:00

hello and happy belated new year . it's been bout 2 weeks since the new year started and about 2 mths since the end of A levels. i haven't been doing much except bumming around. heh.
anyhow 2008 was definitely one of the most memorable years i have in my 18 plus years of life and i wanna thank lp,isaac,my jc mates especially nan and sarah and reubs and ...,my secondary sch mates,some church mates like shihui, junwei,twino and others that have played major role in helping me pull through 2008.i think or rather i know that i'm very blessed by God indeed .
ok dokes.
private bbq up soon pls ppl. picnic too.
and i absolutely love this ice cream parlour at novena . mustgomustgo!;D

2008-12-28T20:42:00.002+08:00

moving forward using all my breath.

every year passes by faster as i grow older. it's either me or the globe is spinning faster. i wonder.
i still remain with the conviction of never wanting to grow up. i wanna be like peter pan. i really don't wanna grow up . sobs.

2008-12-23T20:39:00.002+08:00

i have to (un)pack my room by tonight. drats.
i wanna go shoppinggggggggggggg. i really want to get nonsense
i need to lose the flabs
i'm pissed off, mood swingy and aarghhhh.

ok that's all. for now

2008-12-17T18:41:00.002+08:00

back from hk on thursday, and within a blink of an eye,a week has nearly passed by.
can't remember everything in sequential order except hanging out with joanna at dhobyghat/plazasing. , the girls at clinic, isaac and his mates,lp and shihui at lp's home , church prac. and that was all. followed by a 2d2n short stay at MountA which was ,painful. and missing out on youth camp and the bbq foodddd. sobs.

can't say much has been going on. i've beenr eally lazy and i'm piling up on the weight. zzz.
i needa find a job. seriuosly, money not enough manxzxz/

2008-12-02T15:37:00.002+08:00

i'm so free, i'm stressed over retarded things like packing my room into boxes (my room's gonna undergo extreme makeover whilst i'm holidaying in Hongkong baby!). it's like i've waited so long for the alevels to end and for freedom to come and when it arrives, the impact is zzzzzz.

taiwan wasn't too bad, in fact it opened my eyes to many things ,aside from the work the church has done and all , the trip opened my eyes to many flaws i have which i never really took into deep consideration before. lifechanging i must say,hurpositively, the trip was fun and, fun and tiring for lack of better words .

haven't really been up to anything since i got back on saturday except for church,isaac's 21st, lazing ,calling up a few close friends and looking for jobopenings.

prolly start to get busy and all when i get back from HK. have loads of things to do like private bbq with lp and shihui, meet up with the secondary school usuals for chistmas party/gathering/happyhour/gossip/etc. ,meet up with jc clique,meet up with junwei and the rest, meet up with hansen, out with isaac,meet up with nancy and sarah and nora and the rest of the insane ppl, stayover at lp's, out with the cousins , packing my room, finding a job, spend time with my family, thinking bout the future, earn some moneh. I really don't wanna grow up. sigh i must admit this year has changed me alot and being 18 , i don't know, i think i grew up this year.

2008-12-02T15:32:00.000+08:00

back from taiwan.off to hongkong

2008-12-01T15:58:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 21ST ISAAC

2008-11-06T21:51:00.001+08:00

''where do the gone things go?''-kimiko hahn

MAKE ME STUDYYYYYYY. PLSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

2008-11-06T21:24:00.002+08:00

To think that all this time it's been only me and the two telephones, the one on the wall in the kitchen
and the extension in the darkened guest room upstairs.

2008-10-29T16:10:00.003+08:00

"With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy." -Max Ehrmann

sometimes even the simplest things bring great joy in the worst of times.
<3 thnks nancyyy.

lppp. can't wait to seeya on friday .sigh seah on friday too. ;{

2008-10-28T21:54:00.003+08:00

ommmykosh. camwhoring with my sister?! i must be insane. it's the a levels i tell you. then again, don't u love her pink room.hahah

is it true that forever has finally began?

2008-10-23T21:48:00.002+08:00

i have approx. one week to the start of my 'A' levels. kill me. plsssssss.
yo ho ho 'nd i'm still online. gah. can't stand myself sometimes.i am more dead than dead. like seriously manzxzx.
random : i hate being bored, i hate being alone , i hate doing noting. gaaaaaaaaaaaaa. i can't stand it. i hate thinking. hahah.
sorry sudden outburst.

2008-10-19T20:14:00.000+08:00

So when I see you, despite all that we've become

I'm still blinded

But I'm still staring down the sun

When I see you I'm blinded

2008-10-18T16:54:00.003+08:00

1 Corinthians 13

4 Love is always patient;
love is always kind;
love is never envious
or arrogant with pride.
Nor is she conceited,
5 and she is never rude;
she never thinks just of herself
or ever get annoyed.
She never is resentful;
6 is never glad with sin,
but always glad to side with truth,
whene'er the truth should win
7 She bears up under everything,
believes the best in all,
there is no limit to her hope,
and she will never fall.
8Love never fails.

see i was passing by syl's blog and she was talking bout love. and then i was thinking bout love and this popped into my head. and i was thinking bout what someone once said to me, bout changing the word love to my name and yea, i remember thinking that ''whoa, it's hard to be love''.

Amelia is always patient;

Amelia is always kind;

Amelia is never envious

or arrogant with pride.

Nor is she conceited,

and she is never rude;

she never thinks just of herself

for ever get annoyed.

She never is resentful;

is never glad with sin,

but always glad to side with truth,

whene'er the truth should win

She bears up under everything, believes the best in all,

there is no limit to her hope,and she will never fall.

Amelia never fails.

I still think it's hard to love. Cause i'm not very patient nor am i very kind.i try not to be envious and more often than not have alot of pride.unconciously i may be rude and think only for myself. i tend to get annoyed and resent alot of things in life. i have to admit i think i sin and and fall alot. and i think it's really hard to not fail sometimes.
but i'm trying.

2008-10-13T21:26:00.002+08:00

and he said to me,'' if this world is a lonely place for you, fall into the arms of love.''

wretched day, wretched wretched day.
here/hear the things that contributed to this wretched day.

the growth in my earlobe has not ceased to continue growing and it HURTS! (i think i'm harvesting an alien(s) )
I keep missing my buses by a minute ,on the way to school and back.(and my feeder bus has an irregular time schedule to top that off. GA!)
stupid lorry that drove past and splashed water all over me( when i was still an hour away from home.)
consultations with the teachers made me feeling increasingly depressed and dejected.
studying is not productive at all .( very bad sign, means i'm either stupid or dead , or stupid and dead)
fell from the stairs and bumped my head really badly, thus resulting in a nasty bruise on my big ugly forehead. (fortuantely for ice packs, the bruise has faded but it hurts.)
I think i'm '' into the water too deep''(quote Jordin Sparks 'No Air')
ok i'm crazy. retarded.

gagagaga. i wish i was perfect, good enough . maybe something from Gattaca.

well, so much for monday blues, what a long and angsty post. seriously , this wallowing in self pity is really sicknening but bear with me pls whoever reads this, i really can't help it. it's been sucha wretched day. Sight. Please let tmr bring a miracle and make it a better day, cause really i don't see how it can get worse than today. ok la maybe it can , i mean i've been through worse and i'm already blessed beyond measure but pls pls pls let tmr be good!

i don't know how to tell you this, my actions and words might not show but.

imissyou i miss you i miss you. i'm sorry G.( you know, G for gremlin hahah) I'm sorry. call me when u see this k?

2008-10-08T21:01:00.000+08:00

the countdown has never been this dreary. seriously, this is procrastination like the 'o' levels, promos and all the other past examinations. thing is i can't afford to screw up anymore. not now. gah, imma trainwreck.

anyhow, lp <3 !you can do it for the papers this week. we'll have our fun in taiwan . :]

P.s: I know you're reading this Gremlin. Hahah. <3

2008-09-30T22:31:00.003+08:00

I was a fool to believe . I'm really tired and exhausted . and i want too much. i give up. goodnight

2008-09-16T21:19:00.002+08:00

to be honest, i have 42 days left to the alevels and i'm definitely not ready. not in the least bit.gosh, i need a wake up to reality.
but i'm looking forward to the 11oct with the usuals, and tmr's cream of brocoli,and after exams sentosa trip with lp.

and yes , i'll vibe wit your love babe.

2008-09-03T09:51:00.002+08:00

slacking -check , overeating-check , watching too much tv-check, waking up superlate-check, being a sl0b-check. approaching 'a'levels-check. almost dead-uncheck, dead-check.

yea. now we al know how screweeeeeeeeeeeeeed i am.
ciao!

hello there actcutesy! are u reading this :] can't wait for later!miss you!

2008-09-01T17:39:00.001+08:00

i think this is like postprelim depression or smth.
i give up. really i do. on everything.
sometimes if running away were possible , i'd do it. i would.

2008-08-19T18:49:00.001+08:00

lit prelims tmr and i can't concentrate on anything. gah! am i screwed or screwed.
ecks ecks ecks.

happy 18?

2008-08-13T21:22:00.003+08:00

turning 18 wasn't much . this year's bday was dreary, indeed. maybe due to the prelims.hmm.much thanks for the wishes from everyone , especially school mates,garene,thomas,jill,jiawei ,sherwin,lp,guanyou,isaac and my family. and thanks eve for your chocolates!:D i really appreciate everyone's effort in trying to make my 18 :D, and thank you for your action at the final hour of my bday, it completed it knowing that things are ok now. happy 18 amelia. happy 18. .
on the anti climatic side. it's gp prelims tmr. yay. totally. give me a break . seriously :x

2008-08-07T20:29:00.002+08:00

intention of waking up at 630 today didn't seem to pull through and i ended up rolling outta bed only at 8 to head off to school where i spent a fruitless and unaccomplishing day aside from consulting my bio teacher with jeff and hansheng.
as usual i try to blog about smth interesting but my lazy self refuses to do any thinking. oh well.
i shall just end on the note that despite my shitty situatioin i'm in, what with my unaccomplishments , failures and yadaydabambam, i actually am indeed very very blessed .

2008-07-31T16:40:00.002+08:00

So let's see , there's exactly 89 more days to the big A's , 12 days to the prelims .
and i was out with kheeern yesterday, trying to study but to no avail. oh well.
oh well. i promise to have a more substantial post with proper updates soon!

2008-07-20T20:37:00.002+08:00

Right now , at this point of time i'm filled with sudden rage to murder someone. No, it's not a specific person or anything. I think i just lost my mind. I have so little time and so much to do and idk, everything is just one big puddle of mess.

Alright . i'm off to mope and procrastinate again.

2008-07-16T20:17:00.000+08:00

No Solicitations Allowed

That year we met, I think

You really meant it, that partAbout "no way" at first but then

My foot got in the door somehow

And caused quite a stir among us

Both, next a whole history happened.

There are some things so wonderfully

Mysterious that even mountains wil

lNot say them out loud, and they

Will simply stand thereI

n silence and in love

Madly with the sun and rain,

And moon.

Forever.

-Dale Biron

2008-07-07T09:48:00.002+08:00

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what' you're gonna get.

It's true. Very true. i last watched Forrsest Gump when i was a little kid and it didn't really make any sense to me except for the insane fact that this guy kept running and wouldn't stop. It wasn't a very impactful movie and somehow it faded into a mere memory. Towards the end of last year and the beginning of this year however, a certain someone talked to me about it and it reminded me but i paid no heed. Recently again, just on saturday, my father brought home the DVD. apparently there was a sale for it and he decided to get it since it was cheap(typical singaporean! hahah) and he claims that he likes the movie alot. So i spent this morning in front of the box watching forrest gump over again. and for reasons unrevealed i started to cry. no , it isn't a very sad show but it just holds alot . i don't know. but i've learnt alot this past year . just keep runnning, keep moving, things change, we just have to move with the tide.
i know this post may not seem to be coherent. but it's coherent to me ok! hahah.

you plague my dreams
you're my sweetest sin.

2008-07-06T19:37:00.002+08:00

I went out with a friend on saturday, we're not very close but over the past week i've been keeping in contact with him. we don't share much in common but i'm glad we went out. it was as if we were tying up the loose ends we left hanging such a long time ago. he was a mere memory that i met .
i pray my friend will be well until we start talking agin soon. when he said goodbye to me at the train station, i saw in his eyes the trust i had for him. i hope he doens't break my trust and this friendship will remain. quite weirdly i'm glad i didn't make the same mistake i made a long time ago. oh well. take care mr canal contrl man! :} and you are in the zone. trust me

2008-07-06T19:04:00.002+08:00

Write 10 random facts about yourself then tag the same amount of people as minutes it takes you to write the facts.

1）i have a humongous pimple on my nose right now . ok, fine it's not the only pimple i have. hahah
2）i think i'm an introverted extrovert
3) i watched get smart on saturday
4) i like strawberry icecream from haagen daaz
5) ii'm incredibly inedible
6) i like beard papa creampuffs
7) i have a love-hate relationship with balloons
8) my parents think i'm still 8
9)my favourite colour is green
10)nancy tagged me to do this thing.

i took 4 mins. but i don't have so many people reading this rather dead blog. so just do it if you're bored

2008-06-18T10:05:00.001+08:00

Good morning!

This is the current song addiction i'm having. seriously it rockeths.

2008-06-17T17:30:00.000+08:00

mengren has influenced me to start playing neopets again.
HAHAH.

2008-06-17T10:48:00.002+08:00

your smile is definitely radioactivity redefined,

it's only tuesday! gosh. i want time to pass and i don't want time to pass. it's insanity in the membrane and i'm definitely not happy in the yolk （as lp would put it)
anyhow i haven't been getting down to study as much as i would like to say i did. gosh. better start.

2008-05-31T23:28:00.002+08:00

Thursday proved to be a rather shitty day that turned out quite fine after a morning greeting from the 169 bus driver. It's queer how a simple gesture brightens my day amidst all the riffraff of daily life. I have to say i definitely get more thorns than roses in the weeks that roll by .Maybe i take things too seriously and end up not appreciating the small things that make life so sweet.

2008-05-13T21:25:00.000+08:00

i'm making it better. it'll be ok. i promise.

2008-05-05T19:42:00.002+08:00

I have to say that despite all the complains i make and the ranting i incessantly leak, i am truly blessed.
i have so much to be thankful for but yet i choose to overlook these small but significant things.

Today wasn't such a blue monday afterall. Had leaders meeting in church on sunday which i didn't attend am still am quite guilty for , but i had to be home by 230 . so i had a rushed lunch and chionged home for fear of breaking my curfew yet again. anyhow, surprisingly i was very much awake today despite the lack of sleep , i only slept for 2 hours to be exact ok! left house round 2am with mom to send dad off to the airport and only got home at 530am , just in time to get ready for school.
school wasn't too bad either. i got back my biolog test paper, which i failed yet again much to my dismay. but on a positive note i failed by 4 marks, which is quite a accomplishing feat for me.
what ruined my day was the amazing amount of food i ate, again. oh gosh . i have an eating disorder which is incurable . i can't stop eating. gah/

the week ahead will definitely be tiring with practice on tues , weds and sat. i'm definitely looking forward to friday. and completing my huge workload which is piling up due to the fact that i can't bring myself to begin. gah/

move along move along. moving?

if you're lost you can look and you will find me

2008-05-03T18:15:00.003+08:00

i've tried,
believe me i really have,
but yet the same old story.
all thats gone, thats all thats left,
all you could say was sorry.

At times I think back and wonder how something so alive and strong , full of wonder and love could diminish and the flame that we've constantly tried to fan slowly extinguish to nothing. Then I wonder about my significance to you and whether if everything was a hoax, to put it crudely. Then I think back again to long long ago when things were so much better and i know that we can grow distant, we can not talk,we may even become enemies.but as for that memory it is forever, it will never cease and even if Hands Down ceased to be our favourite song , it'll always be on replay somewhere inside.

It's saturday already and IT'S MAY . Time really does fly . Had cca today and went for a mini shoping spree where i spent 27 bucks on 2 shirts. See 27 bucks isn't really alot but at this crucial time it means alot. hahah. ok. it means i'm broke. and because of my impulsiveness i have to eat bread for the whole of next week in school. oh wells. supposed to be studying mut i just ended up wasting my entire afternoon away on stoning and thinking. see ! i need to be busy . thinking too much sucksssss.

to summarise my week.
monday was studying in school for an hour or so then dinner at sakura with fatty.
tuesday was home early to do some work and please the mother, therefore missing out on my ben and jerry's free cone! *sobs*
wednesday was out with mum and reubs at robinsons
thursday was run in the morning with lp and aaron, lunch at copthorne king hotel with gramma and family, coffee with jill and garene and stoning with fatty
and Friday ended with church.

very busy week with no time for hw and alot of time to sleep. very bad. i need to STOP PROCRASTINATING. May aledi ehhh./* runs into wall*

and my diet is really not working out.
aiyo

Why do people leave;

2008-04-24T16:39:00.004+08:00

maybe i'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time,
you hung me on the line.

I have to start doing my overdue literature essay at 5 pm , which means i have 20 mins to blog ,eat , bathe, take a short nap and take a dump. i'm thinking it's possible :) positive thinking aite aite.

was listening to dawn's ipod yesterday whilst waiting for cca to commence and the songs were just irritatingly sad. got me thinking alot though. the play at raffles jubilee with daddy was not too bad, but the food at the reception was definitely the highlight. heh. glutton.late night phone call with fatty despite me being very exhausted was even more thought provoking .i don't know, maybe people leave us , cause we let them leave us. oh well. it's thursday edi... time really flies and i can't keep up. hmm. looking forward to sat night dinner with garene and daisy and the rest of them , quote jill ' the light at the end of the tunnel'.

2008-04-21T20:25:00.003+08:00

The past few months have literally flown by, and it's amazing how much things have changed in just this short span of time.I've grown so much and changed so much, for the better or worst I don't really know but I choose to think it's for the better,heh. It's amazing and when i think back , it feels like everything was all just a dream , a very long dream, that I've finally awakened from.

I guess ''Closed For Good'' , isn't really closed for good afterall.

I'm waiting for lijin and dawn to come online to do our lit project and i still have a motherload of work to clear. plus the fact that i still have to meet fatty tmr night ,run with jeriel on wed morning,a play to watch with daddy on wednesday, church on friday, sat night dinner with the sec sch clique, cheryl's sunday evening concert and alot of filing and digging up of old notes to do. life can't get more hectic than it already is. or maybe it can. but i like busy, i like dropping into bed and falling into deep slumber without having to try to. as someone i used to know quite well once told me '' the trick is to stay busy and keep moving'' it's true , really it is.

“The word ‘ivory’ rang in the air, was whispered, was sighed. You would think they were praying to it. A taint of imbecile rapacity blew through it all, like a whiff from some corpse. By Jove! I’ve never seen anything so unreal in my life. And outside, the silent wilderness surrounding this cleared speck on the earth struck me as something great and invincible, like evil or truth, waiting patiently for the passing away of this fantastic invasion.”
-Heart of Darkness ; Conrad

2008-01-28T21:50:00.000+08:00

Closed For Good

Dance Floor Anthemn

2007-12-27T12:13:00.000+08:00

Well , I can't say this year was a good year. In fact towards the year end things took a turn for the worst and got me really down in the dumps. All good things must come to an end they say, but sometimes it might not neccessarily be a bad thing aite?:]

Sometimes i wake up in the morning and feel utterly lost. But it's just a momentarily spasm, and it's true when they say motion changes emotion.

This Christmas, God has shown me that He takes away, but He gives. The new year ahead will be unexpecting. And hopefully things turn out for the better . Just hopefully.

Aside from that I recieved really nice gifts this year from lp, the family and friends.

<3>

2007-12-09T08:28:00.000+08:00

i have so much to say that can't be expressed and put down in words. alright mervin, here you go. updated. hahah.

to cut things short, let's just say God does give and take away. :] the weirdest thing is i'm feeling very insanely weird bout it. like fruit punch, all mixed around- punchy... hmm.

toodles!

The trouble with love

2007-11-17T21:18:00.000+08:00

Got me Ten feet off the Ground

Sometimes , I know there's a problem, but i don't know what's the problem.

Get it?

Like you know there's something wrong , but you just can't figure out what's wrong.

Something's just not right, It's wrong.

And the worst part is you don't know how to solve the problem.

It's as if there is no solution for it. And you feel so hopeless and lost.

I don't know what i'm clinging on to. I don't know what is wrong. It just isn't alright/

2007-11-10T20:03:00.000+08:00

Runaway Train.

Runaway train never going back

Wrong way on a one way track

Seems like I should be getting somewhere

Somehow I'm neither here no there

Whee. I think my brother is the cutest thing in my house, and he agrees completely.

My sister's party was a blast. I'm starting to think 12 year olds are growing up way too fast. There was this guy at my sister's party, Royce(?) i think that was his name. He was decked in branded apparallel. Like whoa. When i was 12 i wore pasar malam stufies still ok! Hahah/ But then again, his dad is a rich business man. But i still think kids nowadays grow up too fast. hmm.

Oh and the green tea donut from Munchy isn't all too good. The green tea taste is not evident enough. But the cream or custard or whatever that was inside was yummilicious. superb is the word! Ok i'm off to eat cake. Heh

Birkenstocks and sister-time

2007-11-06T22:25:00.000+08:00

Birkenstocks and sister-time

Hello there! :] *beams* Just got back home .Had a whale of a time with lp, clare aiken and aaron, though we were studying. Hurhur./ Anyhow, I'm very amused by Aaron's birkenstocks, or rather his feet size. It seems like I have really tiny feet when i put his birks on.Lp realised this fact a long time ago. Sorry pea , ! heh!

Today was another tiring day. I had a 2 hours history lecture which drained me out entirely. But i had another oreo munchy donut after that!. Yummy！ It perked me up completely! Yeppy. Headed home to help prepare for my sister's party on saturday, or is it sunday. Yea. I think we're closer. Hahah. We were never that close till this year or so. We even took pictures together without murdering each other first. OH well, that's good aye. Hmm.. We don't even look alike.hmmm/

2007-11-05T20:00:00.000+08:00

"It Only Took A Minute"-Mandy Moore

Don't tell me how i had a vison

That this day would come to be

Call it luck, call it intuition

Here I am ,isn't that enough

For a little bit of reality

Fate is good, fate can be real

If you believe it's what you feel

Oh, what a moment

When i looked into you eyes

I knew i got the prize

Oh, baby, what a sweet surprise

It only took a minute, to let you in my life

It only took a minute, for me to realize

It only took a minute, and i knew just what to do

It only to a minute to fall in love with you

Time and time again, boy

I've always been

The only one who think things through

You got a hold on me, set me free

Who would've known that out of the blue

I discovered the magic of all my dreams that night

With just one look at you

I knew that everything would be all right

It only took a minute, to let you in my life

It only took a minute, for me to realize

It only took a minute, and i knew just what to do

It only to a minute to fall in love with you

Today was awfully tiring. I had a 1 and a half hour literature tutorial. And.. that was that. So i ended lessons at 9:10 am but i couldn't get out of school. So i spent the morning with dawn and the noon with lp,ali,priya,nora,sarah and nancy. and the afternoon with dawn again. Yep.I had a nice surprise today. :] Thank you,It really made my day and calmed me down abit,i was being a kanchiong spider cause results only got released at 545pm!

alrights, i'mma going off to enjoy my night . just stoning. yay. all time fav hobby.
sorry for psing you again lp. have fun tonight. will call you laters. lovelovelove.
oh! and nancy, cheer up alrightos. <3

Bye Folks!

2007-11-04T22:53:00.001+08:00

It seems just like yesterday was the first time that I heard

You call my name

Since then, so much has changed

I wish I could erase my memory. Just like Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet did in Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind.

I watched it last year. And it was good, in fact it was a great show. You guys should watch it. Seriously. It's one of my favourtie shows. And i Don't really have favourites very often. Aside from V For Vendetta, this could be the best i watched.

Anyway, stopping the digression, I wish i could erase my memory. I really wish i could. Wouldn't that make life much easier for you and me? Hmm? Wishful thinking Amelia. Deal with it. Life's like that and reality bites hard.

Donuts

2007-11-04T22:12:00.000+08:00

we never see eye to eye,

but thats the thing isn't it?

we were never supposed to.

Hello Everybody! I'm back . Alive and kicking. I have finally decided to update this blog of mine mainly for two reasons. Firstly, nancy and merv's been asking me to update and secondly, i need something to do to take my mind of tml.
Well, I haven't been up to much lately. Was supposed to meet jill and the rest today, but i didn't make it. I'm really sorry :[/.

Anyhow, i've recently developed an obsession for donuts! Yummy! Speaking of which . Munchy or is it Munchies sells the best donuts ever! especially the oreo ones! Yummilicious. i could eat one anyday! And see the donut with the smiley face above, It's really yummy too! nancy gave it to me bout a month or so back.It was nicee! I think she got it from the one in town.Hmm.

Ok, that's all folks. Till next time. :] Hee

When you breathe , I wanna be the air for you <3

2007-10-25T21:57:00.000+08:00

When you breathe , I wanna be the air for you.

2007-10-18T18:16:00.000+08:00

And I wrote this letter in my head , there's so many things left unsaid/Nononono,baby, nononono, don't lie/Someone who sees like a child , giveslike a saint, looks like an angel ,nevermind the broken wing/ Big girls don't cry/Why can't i breathe whenever i think about you/you're the only one who sweeps me off my feet , makes my soul go weak/Here i go , scream my lungs out to try to get to you/Don't go changing, trying to please me/I'll take the good times, i'll take the bad times, i love you just the way you are/fight the devil and the deep blue sea/through the turbulent years/unbreak my heart/it was you , who made my blue eyes blue/you're a falling star, you're the getaway car , you're the line in the dasn when i go too far/I'll be the first to go/cause i know about her and i wonder how i bought all those lies/so you sail away into the grey sky morning/love was never boring/love was made for me and you/honey why you call me so late, it's been a whil;e since we last talked/1,2,3,4 tell me that you love me more/i'm happy wondering/when you walk away, i count the steps that you take/babablacksheep/

strings of lyrics. been flowing since morning till now.Finally got it all out.HAHAH.
stayover at lp's was the bestest. update later.gotta rush I & R. you know, insights and reflections. BA! hahah:]

2007-10-17T19:14:00.000+08:00

Project Work & Feet Well, so begins my blogging with a picture! Finally after a gazallion days.
Guess why?
Because I finally learnt how to operate a USB portal and how to do data transfer. Thus i was able to transfer pictures from my phone and the family camera!
I know.. Its sad but true , before today i had no idea how to transfer data. Ga!
But the point is I have overcome my fear of technology! No la, actually overcome the fear of messing around with technology.
See, the reson why I'm afraid of technology is because many years ago , whilst i was fiddling with the computer (playing Neopets) I somehow pressed a button that led to the entire computer shutting down and going haywire. Daddy said it wasn't my fault. But I had computer phobia from that day on. As in I'm just afraid to fiddle with new things that has to do with technology la! hahah. Oh well.
I had PW group meeting today to prepare for OP, we managed to do some if not all the work , plus taste the awesomatic food Dora's mom cooked. her sambal prawns are yummilicious!

Anyhow, whilst I was travelling to Dora's place, which is all the way in Jurong East!, I had time to observe things around me. I don't know why, but when one has nothing to do, you tend to observe. Or is it just me. Nevermind. Anyhow, I observed people's feet and their shoes. It's really fun and funny. You should try it. Some people have small feet, some have big feet, some twitch their toes constantly, some wear their socks upside down. its really funny, oh and i realised that if you watch someone twitch their toes, you'll start twitching them unconciously too! :] Ba. Retarded/ :/

Anyhow , I have to go. Sister's nagging at me. I know! tis ridiculous for my younger sister to nag at me. But she is. Ba . She's forcing me to eat dinner. Gah! Byee doods! :D

So why do you leave these stories unfinished,

my Cheshire cat doorstop with tears in her eyes?

Why do you look when you've already found it?

What did you find that could leave you walking by?

2007-10-16T22:53:00.000+08:00

TA-DA! PROMOS ARE OVER!

Although i know i didn't do well, BA! PROMOS ARE OVER! :D

Alright, I promised to be less lazy and update my blog, but i will start tml!
HAHAH ! I AM AMELIA THE PROCRASTINATOR. hmmm random, maybe i could call myself deprocrastinator and join the next season of Who Wants To Be A Superhero? Zomgosh, I'm delusional, must be the post exams. I'm proliferating exuberant joy! heh.

2007-10-13T22:09:00.000+08:00

Hello Everybody , don't you think that the word 'everybody' is weird? Hahah , like Every Body. Ba, random.

Anyhow the Promos are not over for me yet. After so long! Anyhow, just thought i would drop by since my blog is getting stale . Ok, that's an understatement... My blog IS VERY stale .
yepyepyep.

Anyhow , I really canot wait to go shopping after my promos. Like real shopping, not the grab and go kinda shopping. Yer. I haven't been to town for like a really longgggggggggggg time. Seriously. Gosh. I have no life. SCREAMS.

Here's my shopping list:
1) A wallet ( cause i spoil mine every 2 months)
2) Hairdryer ( mine smells burnt.. eeks. its like gonna blow up any moment! )
3)Levis Jeans ( I;ve been eyeing one for a really long time, just that i could never save enough)

And that's all i can think of now. Besides that I shall hang out more with my secondary school clique:] , jc clique, lp and hunnystar

Oh drats. Biology paper on tuesday. Save me pls?

2007-10-10T18:55:00.000+08:00

I was sure by now,
God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
,"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm
I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone
how can I carry on if I
can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I am weak
With every ounce left in me
Help.

2007-09-15T22:48:00.000+08:00

Hello Jello! I haven't bathed. hahah. and its really kinda late already. But after reading Jil and Garene's blog. I really miss secondary school. Alot. Minus the studying part and the waking up early and yadada yadada. I really miss my secondary school clique. What with all the crazy gatherings we used to have at Garene's or Jill's place and the recess we had at the same table in school everyday ................ Plus the fact that procrastination with homework would not result in doing badly. Ahhh. :]

2007-09-12T20:14:00.000+08:00

hiatus. hahah. not like i'm blogging everyday. but yes, i promise to be back after the promos. hopefully with goodnews. and of course with pictures and a much more interesting blog with better blog posts. i promise. so bye, for now

Back!

2007-08-21T17:33:00.001+08:00

HELLO! I'm back (from the living dead)!Hahah.My com is spoilt and screwed up BIG time. So I only gain access through the net from my mother's laptop, which is hardly at home. Sad, but true.Anyhow, life has been stressful, tiring , happy , sad, exciting!, tiring, stressful,tiring,tiring.Thats the basic gist of it.

Bye.Doods! ;)

Daddy

2007-07-26T22:40:00.000+08:00

Daddy Returns!
yay.! Daddy is back from aussieland!
He bought me perfume and a postcard.
I love my daddy.<3

And the current song of the day is World of Our Own By Westlife.

Fact of the day: my first cd was a westlife cd. :]

2007-07-21T22:29:00.000+08:00

why?

2007-07-18T21:46:00.000+08:00

When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound.

When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise.

But as for your heart ,

when that breaks. It's completely silent.

You would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of the cymbal or the ringing of a bell.

But on the contrary, it's silent and you almost wish, i almost wish, there was a noise to act as a distraction from the pain.

Anyhow, the song for today is Dance Inside , and like The All-American Rejects say ''And I'll be fine, ''

I guess I'll be fine .

Won't you be fine too?

And everyone should tune into Robbie Williams today. Yet again he has not ceased to brighten up my day whilst i travel home on the horriblelest 265 which takes forever to arrive at the train station.

I shall take my leave now to go catch CSI on AXN. The wonders of cable teevee :] loveth it.

Goodnight World.

2007-07-12T22:09:00.001+08:00

Oh i'm so caught up! i need a bed at Ikea to lie on. Har dee har har.

''Will You Still Love Me In The Morning?''

Hello World, I'm supposed to be in bed , rather getting ready for bed which technically means doing my homework , packing my bag etc. However, i don't think i'll be sleeping that early tonight, I have the stoning syndrome.

Hello there , have you seen Amelia? I lost her, could you find her for me ? Pls?

Thank you.

2007-07-12T20:07:00.000+08:00

Heads up everybody! Its Thursday night! That means that its Friday tml! *Screams* I'm way excited! Its the end of the week!

Today wasn't very exciting.

Had dumbnutts physical education - which i totally don't enjoy now because the school makes us wear the ugleist shorts you can ever find in the whole entire world. Puhlease! I look ridiculous in them- like i'm wearing a skirt la.
YadaYada Bam Bam. i thought i'd seen the worst p.e shorts back in secondary school, but boy oh boy , compared to these , those are wayyyyyy better.

Had horriblelest Chinastudies and history after that.. Okej, not that bad la. Hahah. I'm just not into school . Hah!

Nothing much after that. Came home. Ate. Slept. Ate. Sent reubs to tuition. Home. Net.

I'm a slacker yo. I NEED TO STUDY! Need is the key word .

And i have to roll in 20 minutes. Because i want to watch some show on the Teevee! :]

But before i go i have something for you lp!

Remember this? Hahah. I'm sorry for stealing your blankie in the nights!
Anyhow don't be gloomy no more ya.
You're worth far more than you think you are.
And don't stress k! Lp is always here for lp!
Call me if you need me! i'm just a phonecall away dey!
Plus my phone is on 24/7 ! Just like Macs and 7 eleven!
:]
Heh. Love ya!

And for good music for today. You can count on the Soul Asylum.

Runaway Train.

It seems no one can help me now I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray
Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here no there
Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded
Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain
Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same

Alright, thats all for today.
Goodnight !

2007-07-11T17:08:00.000+08:00

Would have given up my life for you
Guess it's true what they say about love
It's blind
Boy, you lied straight to my face
Looking in my eyes
And I believed you
'cause I loved you more than life
And all you had to do
Was apologize

My heart may never mend
Wish like hell I could go back in time
Maybe then I could see how

Chinese A level orals stank. Like pangsai !
Aiya. whatever. Then there's like a truckload of work to do .
And i'm gonna just snap into two if friday doesn't arrive fast enough.

I discovered last night that i really do adore honeystars. hahah :]
Random shiat :]

And goodbye you all.
And a good band to tune into for today would be the Artic Monkeys yo :]
Cheers

2007-07-08T21:56:00.000+08:00

bend and not break.
wish i could
bend and not break.
wishful thinking.
bending and breaking.
breaking and bending.

2007-07-07T21:25:00.000+08:00

2007-07-07T16:04:00.000+08:00

Bitter taste in Your Cocktail

So now i'm the bitter taste in your cocktail.

Antacid ?Bet i hit the nail.

When you rain , i have to rain

When you shine , i have to shine.

Whatever happened to the Warm October Nights.

Tit for tat?No, rather Tat for tit.

This just ain't right.

Now Yellowcard's playing on the forsaken radio.

All i need is for you to say

'Hello,''

And i'll answer you. You bet i will.

I'll answer you.

Amelia.

2007-07-07T14:21:00.000+08:00

Like the little school mate in the school yard

We'll play jacks and uno cards

I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine

Yes you can hold my hand if you want to

'Cause I want to hold yours too

We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds